Skillfully crafted
Starring: Mazdaspeed 3
congrats you ruined your car
Tyler Kent, I have taught you so well, young padawan. HerraFrush is so gay.
Things I’ve put in Hannah’s Butt
1. Car Keys
2. A Stick of Deoderant
3. A Hotwheel
4. An 11/16 Socket
5. A ruler
6. A remote Control
7. My Cellphone
8. Chapstick
9. A livestrong bracelet
And all of this was at the same time.
When I am frightened, Bon Iver sings me a soothing song about the sandy soil near the shore of Lake Michigan, the sound of the cattle lowing in the meadow beside the creek, and the wanderings of his great uncle Wyatt who traveled to the Dakotas to take up a homesteading claim. He squeezes my hand and tells me everything will be all right. And I believe him.
Sleepy thoughts
My life is so much better with Andrew in it. It’s been a long time since we first started dating, but I still feel exactly the same as I did two and a half years ago. He’s my best friend.
Replace every instance of “Andrew” with “Hannah” and it describes how I feel too. You are the best.
